Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Letting Go Never Felt So Good

So I recently got a new job for an organization called New Horizons (you can read about them here) which is an answer to many prayers. It got me thinking how faithful God is. For the last few months I have been praying that God would provide me with a job, wherever it may be. For the last couple weeks, even as my bank account slowly dried up, I didn't panic. Worrying about money is a new thing in my life and has caused me some stress over the last year, but somehow this time around I wasn't worried. I decided it was time to stick it out instead of running to the comfort and safety of home and I knew God would bless that decision. He never fails to provide what we need and my most pressing need was a job. I truly put myself at His mercy and trusted that He would come through, which of course He did. It is difficult to describe the peace that comes when you surrender completely as its not something I can honestly say I've done very often in life. It is so difficult to let go of your plans and say "God, my next move is up to you." Its because of that difficulty I believe the reward is so great. I truly believe Divine providence led me to this opportunity as its not a job I even knew existed before I ran into a friend in Subway who also just got a job here. I know as I go on down the road it will still be tough to submit my hopes and desires to the Lord but right now I am doing my best to give everything up to Him, and it feels incredible. The anxiety and helplessness I have so often felt about the future is not there anymore. God provides, and He will give me what I need. It feels great to let go, I would recommend it.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Moving Without Going Anywhere

So lately my life has been a little unsettled as I have been figuring out where I am going to spend the next few months of it. I wasn't able to secure a teaching position this summer and so I have been left to figure something else out. Of course I know I am always welcome at home but the house is a little crowded these days and I feel its time I made it for myself. Anyways as this post is not about my job or lack thereof I will move on to my reason for writing. I decided to stay in Abilene for various reasons and I am trying to cope with life after being a student. To feed my competitive and athletic side I am still playing flag football and as I stand out at the fields looking around I realize the amount of people I know has greatly decreased. There was a time when I would recognize every face out there but those times are gone. My time has come and gone and I am finding that I am ok with that. I am alright with being the old guy who no one knows who still plays sports. As far as friends go, I have started hanging out with a bunch of junior and senior guys in club. These guys accept me as one of their own and make me feel young again. Haha. But seriously I truly enjoy chillin and jokin around with these guys. What is truly crazy is that there is now 1 friend, yes 1, still around from my glory days in club. My roommates and best friends (besides the one) have all gone their own ways. You can find them in dallas, austin, houston, denver, and ada to name a few. I've had to make a whole new set of friends, or else just hang out by myself, which I still do a fair amount. It's like I've moved to a new city without ever actually going anywhere. It's funny because I will talk about old members of club sometimes as I would do with my friends, and these guys have no idea who I am talking about. It's at these times my new friends no longer make me feel young. That's ok though, because I am not, and that's not so bad.